Originally published 2/7/19
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, 📚 a boundary is something that points out or shows a limit or end: a dividing line. 🙅🏻♀️ Some synonyms that I find interesting are border, threshold, and cut off point.
So a boundary is basically a line that you don’t want to be crossed. And guess what… you get to decide where that line is for yourself! You determine what you will receive or tolerate, and what you won’t. 👍🏼👎🏼😊
If you want a few examples of how this might show up, watch my FaceBook live here.
Personal boundaries can be rigid, porous or healthy. And in reality, healthy boundaries can be both a little rigid and porous at the same time, depending on the circumstances.
So what does that mean exactly? 🤷🏻♀️
You may have rigid boundaries if you: ✋🏼🤐
- avoid intimacy and close relationships
- rarely ask for help
- distance yourself to avoid rejection.
You have porous boundaries if you:🤮🤦🏻♀️
- overshare personal information
- have difficulty saying no to others, even when you really want to
- get too involved with other people’s problems (aka drama!)
- tolerate abuse or disrespect.
Some examples of healthy boundaries are: 🤝🥰
- you have your own opinion and you value it
- you hold true to your principles and values, rather than compromise for others
- you appropriately share personal information
- you are accepting of others what when they say no to you (honoring their own boundaries).
Keep in mind that the appropriateness of boundaries depends heavily on the setting. What is appropriate when you are out with friends may not be appropriate when you when you are at work. Know your crowd, and place your boundaries accordingly.
When you have blurred boundaries, you allow others to chip away at your joy. And you enable them to continue in their own stuck ways, rather than empower them to make changes. I want to invite you to choose one place to put a healthy boundary this week, and let me know what it is, please! 😊♥️
If you want a little more support in finding and enforcing your boundary in a healthy, loving way, let’s talk! 🕗♥️🌻